I can see the mountains even clearer from the fifth floor window as I wait, covered in snow. ****** lies before me for as far as the horizon, a sea of buildings and their three million or so inhabitants. A vision, ephemeral. Everything really has changed, hasn't it?

Yet as I stand here, my blood runs thick from fear of change. A change I so desire. Some paranoia of steel forged ill luck tells me that either nothing will come of this or too much will. This is nothing short of alchemy, and I am frightened by the outcome.

Will you find yourself lamenting more than my voice? You are okay with this step only out of concern for me, a fact that I understand whole heatedly. What if something happens that can't be undone that you will be unhappy with? That I'll be unhappy with? If I fuck up, will I commit that darkest sin of regretting my action? Have I lived short of 2* years without the hint of remorse just to throw that all away?

Should I be afraid?

I just want...to exist...

You chose to believe, even if it wasn't true...that's all.

Destroy Once Done